Mary and Paul were two young adults. They met in a record store in 1977. She was a model. He was a photographer. It was a match made in post psychedelic bliss. They married 9 months later. And after 14 years of marriage, two kids and a house in suburbia they divorced.
The ramifications of their quick decision to love wouldn't come to fruition until their children were much older and more screwed up than you can imagine.
Are their really ramifications from love?
Many know the fable the Tortoise and the Hare, the story concerns a hare who ridicules a slow-moving tortoise for being...well, slow. In response, the tortoise challenges his swift mocker to a race. The hare soon leaves the tortoise in the dust, confident of winning, he then decides to take a nap midway through the course. When he awakes, he finds that his competitor the slow guy who crawled, slowly but steadily, has already won the race.
Anyone would have bet money on the hare to win that race, so why don't people gamble with a fast moving relationship. When you know, you know...right?
Paul and Mary thought they knew. And to this day are forced to keep in contact with each other, mainly for their children's sake. By rushing into love, they weren't completely sure of what the others intentions were. Paul didn't want kids. Mary did. Had she known this little detail, would she have gone through with the marriage? Or was she too blinded by love?
Two friends of mine, in the past few months have met "the one" and have decided to get married after only knowing each other for approximately 4 months. Both are engaged. Both are extremely intelligent. Both are dealing with long distance. Both are insanely happy.
Truth be told, there are many naysayers toward both relationships for very different reasons. Details which will not be disclosed here. Is it that they can't believe in love? Or the timing of it all? And is it really love or just lust? That can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, winning the world series kind of stuff. And who are we to judge?
Is there really a protocol for being in love? Must you wait a year to move in with a significant other? Must you date for 4 months then contemplate getting married? Do you tell your girlfriend that you love her at a baseball game? *wink*
The answer to all of those questions is a big, fat...NO/YES! Because it doesn't matter. All that matters is what you are feeling at that moment, in time. You're ready. You're practicing your swing, knocking the dirt from your cleats, firmly planting them into the ground but not before writing an "A" in with the tip of your bat for luck, there's the pitch, SMACK, it's high, it's gone. Over the left field wall. A walk off home run.
You can feel it in your bones when you're ready. When you're ready for marriage, when you're ready to swing for the fences, when you're ready to move in, when you're ready to win the race and when you're ready to date again. It's not about timing. It's just about the right person.
The tale of the tortoise and the hare is not exactly a love story, but more of a lesson. A lesson that we shouldn't take a nap in the middle of a race, even if it's supposed to be a sure thing.
Sure, slow and steady wins the race...but a heart doesn't know when not to love.