And I'm also not quite sure what I want to say.
Throughout my life, I have been a bucket full of contradictions-making up my mind and changing it 2 hours later.
Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be a writer. I wrote my first "story" when I was 8 years old. My first screen play when I was 13 plus mounds and mounds of poems, songs, blogs, articles, press releases and the like.
I always feel at ease with the keyboard under my finger tips and with a pen in my hand. I love the ability to have my thoughts spilled out on paper or the computer screen, since the highway that connects my brain and my fingertips has less traffic than the highway from my brain to my mouth.
I transitioned to PR after my start in journalism to my dismay. Every time I started a press release, I wanted to be the one writing the article. I always loved creating new and inovative ways to express some else's point of view through words. The first full fledged article I ever wrote was for Lisa Philip's Journalism 1 class at SUNY New Paltz. I decided to write about the most fascinating person I knew. My friend Vivianne.
Vivianne was in her 60's and fabulous. She had an innate sense of self, a knack for making people love her instantly and the awesomest background story. Born in Belgium during WWII, she narrowly escaped the Holocaust when she was 9 months old, moved to Queens, N.Y., married an alcoholic, divorced an alcoholic, dealt with the death of her twin sister and made a huge impact on my life.
In 2006, Vivianne unexpectedly passed away in her sleep...on the same exact day her twin sister died six years earlier. One week after after she turned 66.
At her funeral, I gave a copy of the article I wrote to her daughter. Her daughter expressed to me how honored and special Viv felt when I wrote the article on her a few months earlier. It was the least I could do.
When I wrote that article, I knew I had found my calling. Sure, my judgement hasn't been the best the past few years as far as career choices go, but I've lived and learned.
I'm about to embark on possibly one of the most uncharacteristic decisions of my life. Becoming willingly unemployed. Yes, willingly. I won't bore you with the details but there are some things in my life that have to change.
And to sound ridiculously cliche, I need to find myself and really search for the perfect career in journalism where I can grow and utilize my creativity.
So, here's to uncertainity, the unknown and hopefully the eventually lucrative.