The Settlers

Back in Social Studies class, in Elementary School, we learned about The Settlers. People who laid the ground work for where we live, work and play today.

They were innovative, adventurous and sought out a better life for their family and their community.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but, back then, were they looked down upon or considered lame for choosing their land and making a home? Granted, I wasn't even a twinkle in my parents' eye back then, but I can venture a guess and say: "No."

There's a big, nasty stigma against settling in dating, as there should be. Mr. Good Enough will have to do, I guess. Mr. Right is just too hard to find. Does Mr. Right even exist? We all know Prince Charming is a lying, cheating bastard (see: Shrek the Third), and Ken Doll's privates are plastic. So who's left?

Ah, yes. The Average Joe's: Mr. Eh, Mr. No Spark and Mr. Unattainable.

The Settlers on the other hand, are on the fast track to laying the land. Marriage, House, Kids and then Divorce Rock City.

When is it ever good enough? When is HE/SHE good enough? Do we have unreachable goals? Are we setting ourselves up for failure? Are we settling for Mr. I-Think-You're-Right? Am I asking too many questions?

The Settlers are supposed to be innovative, adventurous and striving for a better life. So, why have they become the couple who lays on the couch in their jammies watching Matlock reruns?

Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean you have to change yourself. You don't have to change anything that you do (OK, maybe lay off the strip clubs a bit) and you surely shouldn't have to change the one your with. *Cue "Love the One You're With"

I was once in a relationship where I walked on eggshells. I tried to be the "perfect" girlfriend for a douche that didn't know what he wanted. Truth was, we weren't right for each other. Everything I did wasn't good enough, he was never nice enough etc... I settled-because it was comfortable. I was convinced that I wouldn't be able to find anyone else. So, I stayed. I laid the land. Thankfully, it ended before the marriage and kids. But some aren't so lucky.

Now, I have a great guy. The complete opposite of what I had. We go out with each other, friends and family, we plan vacations, lay next to each other with our lap tops and are extremely supportive. He loves all of the things about me that Douche hated. He laughs at me when I get crazy and he calms me in stressful situations.

It took me a long time to realize that I deserve someone like him. Someone who unconditionally loves me for me. We all deserve to be treated like princesses. Mr. Good Enough is NOT good enough. He may even prevent you from meeting Mr. Right.

Mr. Right is out there, and he's ready to settle down with you.