Everything else is just life.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Friend Zone

[advising Ross about Rachel]

Joey: You waited too long and now you're in "The Friend Zone."

A phrase uttered all too often in regards to male and female friends, in which when one part of the twosome has feelings for the other part, when said first part just thinks of the second as a friend.

In the episode, Joey tells Ross he's "mayor of the zone" with his feelings for Rachel not being reciprocated. Ross believes that he can approach Rachel at any time with the offer to date. He finally gets her alone on the balcony, overlooking a blacked-out NYC and he begins to tell her how he feels. A cat then jumps on his shoulder, and mayhem ensues as Rachel and Phoebe look for the cats owner. Rachel falls for the Italian guy, Palo, and forgets all about what Ross had to tell her. Leaving him, still, in the Friend Zone.

Thus, bringing me to the point of my post. Can male and females ever be, JUST friends? Meaning, can two people of the opposite sex ever have a relationship not involving sexual feelings? Think about it. At one point or another in almost every instance, a sexual encounter is pondered over or even followed through with.

A perfect example is my relationship now. My guy and I knew each other for 4 years. We were friends, not best friends but we appreciated each others company and hung out a lot. We mainly worked together and I adored him. Did I think he was cute? Yes. Would I recommend him to a friend? Of course! I actually did. Neither of us acted on our feelings, instead built a great flirty friendship.

At one point or another, I had a crush on all of my guy friends. I didn't pursue anything further nor did I ever expect any relationship to develop. They were all in the "Friend Zone." Granted, some of the perimeter of the zone is somewhat blurred and can be considered situational, however, I've never witnessed an instance where two friends of opposite genders were just "friends" with no sexual feelings towards the other, one-sided or both.

Because the perimeter is blurred, many lines can be crossed giving the other party the wrong idea. Like the "running fingers through my hair" compared to just a "tousel," and constant companionship, albeit a flirty companionship, is treading dangerous waters too if you don't ever want to exit the safe zone.

I was lucky in the fact that I fell in love with one of my best guy friends, and well, we all know what happens with Ross and Rachel.

1 comment:

Lee said...

I don't think it's possible for a man and a woman to be solely friends without one party having some sort of sexual attraction at one point or another. Interesting, though how it's pushed aside!