Everything else is just life.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Spinning My Wheels

My relationship with my gym is fickle. I enjoy the end results of working out, but rarely find the motivation to just get up and go. One of the things I love most is variety, especially taking the aerobic classes. My favorite is the Spin class. It's a great class for a cardio workout if you're like me and can't stand running on a treadmill. Spinning burns TONS of calories and by changing resistance, it's a great quad and butt work out too.

It had been awhile since I set foot in an aerobic class, let alone in the "Mom & Pop" gym in my lovely small town (where I actually worked during college). Many of the employees from my tenure are still working there, which is comforting to have some familiar faces, but also kind of damning to my ego since I'm still in said small town.

One Wednesday when I worked up the guts to try out the Spin class again, I rushed out of work at exactly 5pm to make it to the 5:15 class. I parked my car in my old "spot" and rushed in to change in the locker room. I saw a familiar face, Kira, whom I've known for a long time; we made small talk as we both made our way into the classroom.

"So what brings you back?" she asked.

"Oh, well, I moved away for a bit then came back home."

"Broke up with your boyfriend?" she asked a-matter-o-factly.

I laughed uneasily, "How'd you know?"

We both grabbed bikes and situated them next to each other. If I was going to endure pain and suffering whilst being drenched in sweat I wanted to do it next to someone I knew.

Lillian, the instructor, had her back turned to the classroom while she fussed with the sound system (which coincidentally still doesn't work from when I was employed 3 years ago). She turned towards us, our faces weary with the thought of what may be in store for our bodies.

"Oh, hey, Kira's here...OK, what's your name? Wait. Do I know you? You look so familiar," Lillian said.

"She used to work here!" Thanks, Kira.

"OH! OK." Lillian began the class, stopping every so often to try and place our lives coinciding.

When I worked at the gym, 3 years ago, I was still in college pursuing my Journalism degree with high hopes of becoming the next Meredith Vierra, Suchin Pak or Anne Curry. That dream hasn't necessarily subsided, it's just been morphed into becoming happy and successful at whatever I do. Currently, it's PR. I like PR. I like what I'm able to accomplish and I utilize my best assets.

Unfortunately, at my current position, I don't believe that I am. After being employed by my firm for four months, I've been itching for a better opportunity. I'm clouding my life with extracurricular's and not focusing on the big picture. The big picture that I had when I was in college.

After my ex and I broke up, I had three different people tell me I looked "stress free." And it was true. Recently, I had two different people say that I'm "spinning my wheels." I'm not where I see myself and I'm getting nowhere fast. It's beyond frustrating. The ambition in me is hammering at my ego for settling for a job that seemed promising at first but quickly turned into a "WTF am I doing here?"

It's been 2 months and I make it, every Wednesday, to Spin class. It's my release for the week. I take out my frustrations on the uphill battles and relish in my accomplishments during the sprints. I hope to, someday soon, find my "niche" and a place where I can plant my feet and stay for awhile, allowing me to utilize my best assets and be all I can be.

Lillian eventually remembered that I used to work at the front desk every Saturday morning.

"Journalism! You went to school for journalism!"

She remembered I would have a stack of newspapers and magazines behind the desk to keep me occupied when I wasn't greeting members.

"You left to be a reporter, I remember now, how did you do?"

I did, I became a reporter, than a Senior Editor, then I went over to the dark side and now I'm in PR. I laughed uneasily.

"That's good, you're going somewhere."

I sure hope so.

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