Quote of the Day: When You Least Expect It

Read this today and loved it:

"It was one of the best gifts I think I ever got," she said. "I really
wasn't looking for anything serious. I think sometimes when you're not looking
that's kind of when gifts like that happen."
-Tiffani Thiessen

The Settlers

Back in Social Studies class, in Elementary School, we learned about The Settlers. People who laid the ground work for where we live, work and play today.

They were innovative, adventurous and sought out a better life for their family and their community.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but, back then, were they looked down upon or considered lame for choosing their land and making a home? Granted, I wasn't even a twinkle in my parents' eye back then, but I can venture a guess and say: "No."

There's a big, nasty stigma against settling in dating, as there should be. Mr. Good Enough will have to do, I guess. Mr. Right is just too hard to find. Does Mr. Right even exist? We all know Prince Charming is a lying, cheating bastard (see: Shrek the Third), and Ken Doll's privates are plastic. So who's left?

Ah, yes. The Average Joe's: Mr. Eh, Mr. No Spark and Mr. Unattainable.

The Settlers on the other hand, are on the fast track to laying the land. Marriage, House, Kids and then Divorce Rock City.

When is it ever good enough? When is HE/SHE good enough? Do we have unreachable goals? Are we setting ourselves up for failure? Are we settling for Mr. I-Think-You're-Right? Am I asking too many questions?

The Settlers are supposed to be innovative, adventurous and striving for a better life. So, why have they become the couple who lays on the couch in their jammies watching Matlock reruns?

Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean you have to change yourself. You don't have to change anything that you do (OK, maybe lay off the strip clubs a bit) and you surely shouldn't have to change the one your with. *Cue "Love the One You're With"

I was once in a relationship where I walked on eggshells. I tried to be the "perfect" girlfriend for a douche that didn't know what he wanted. Truth was, we weren't right for each other. Everything I did wasn't good enough, he was never nice enough etc... I settled-because it was comfortable. I was convinced that I wouldn't be able to find anyone else. So, I stayed. I laid the land. Thankfully, it ended before the marriage and kids. But some aren't so lucky.

Now, I have a great guy. The complete opposite of what I had. We go out with each other, friends and family, we plan vacations, lay next to each other with our lap tops and are extremely supportive. He loves all of the things about me that Douche hated. He laughs at me when I get crazy and he calms me in stressful situations.

It took me a long time to realize that I deserve someone like him. Someone who unconditionally loves me for me. We all deserve to be treated like princesses. Mr. Good Enough is NOT good enough. He may even prevent you from meeting Mr. Right.

Mr. Right is out there, and he's ready to settle down with you.

Working for the Weekend

Please enjoy the awesome 80's-ness that is this MTV Music Video. I will be humming this diddy tonight.

xoxo Loves!

Slowride...Take it Easy

My Mom likes to tell the story of when I was a baby first learning to walk. She claims that I didn't "walk" per say, I would run. Head first. I once ran head first into the glass door, my family was in the kitchen and heard a thump and waited for the cry. I fell on my bottom, laughing hysterically. In retrospect, you could say that I was born to run (thanks Bruce) and have always been one to "skip" a step.

This has been both beneficial and detrimental at the same time.

As a New Yorker, I ran everywhere. Always in a rush. In a rush to grow up. I quickly learned how fast you can burnout. I wanted to reach the top of the mountain first, while juggling water and hopping on one foot. It's just near impossible.

A wise man once said, slow down...take it one day at a time. And for once, it actually registered. With a full time job, a part time job, a full social calendar and yoga...I barely have time to breathe (hence the yoga).

I have finally slowed my roll and it feels good. I am slowly relinquishing control to fate. I am actually saying, "no" to people and finally living for myself and the people I love. I want to fly by the seat of my pants, not plan every move I make. Although, I will NEVER give up my planner. That shit's going to be buried with me.

I'm finally taking it easy, and I feel good about it. I'm tired of squeezing my friends into my schedule, I want to be able to walk leisurely through Ikea and pick out little nik nak's that I like. Maybe sit out in the sun and read, or take a pottery class. The possibilities are endless.

I'm on a slowride and I'm taking it easy. Finally.

Comfortable

"Comfortable"
by John Mayer

I just remembered, that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, aisle 5
you looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave.

Can't remember, what went wrong last September
Though I'm sure that you'd remind me, if you had to

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in

I sleep with this new girl i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives

She says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was, so dirty

Life of the party
and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
or so they say, say

She thinks I can't see the smile that she's fakin'
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed, I want you back.

I Guess This is Growing Up...

But everybody's gone

And I've been here for too long

To face this on my own

I guess this is growing up.

On the eve of a monumental moment in my life, I want to crawl underneath my sheets and hide. I've never been so homesick and I haven't even left home yet. Therein lies the problem. I've lived in my house since I was 4 years old. When it came time for me to go to college, I opted for the less expensive route of community college and transferring to a local 4-year near by. The NYS Thruway and I became fast friends. It wasn't that I wasn't ready to leave home, I just didn't want to. I had freedom, no one poking their heads in my business and a warm bed to go home to at night.

In the last 2 years or so, it has become increasingly difficult to muster up the balls to move out. Mostly, because I feel a sense of guilt leaving my mother all by her lonesome. I left for a few months in the Summer of 2008 and moved back home in November. The circumstances were out of my control. But I was content living with my Mom again. I had to take a few steps back in order to make a big leap forward.

Robin(crying): Please answer "yes" to this.

Ted: What happened?

Robin (still crying): Can I move back in?

Ted (hugs Robin): Yes.

I do have dreams where I live on my own in a fabulous apartment, cooking what I want, eating healthy and just having a great life. But, in my head somehow, it will only work if all of the pieces of my family that have fallen are in place too.

My family isn't what you would call...functional. I don't know many that are, these days. When my parents divorced when I was 6, I became a make-shift Mommy. I wanted to fix everyone and everything, put everyone's needs before mine and make sure everyone was "OK."

I'm not sure when I became an official adult. You might assume it was on my 18th birthday, but it doesn't happen right on cue. I've felt like an adult my whole life. Ironic, since all I want right now is to be a little kid again. And all I want to do is take care of the people I love. That includes my Mom.

My house has been my safety net. Always will be. But it's time for this little chicky to leave the nest. Again.

"You shouldn't stop yourself from growing up for her."

I guess this is growing up.

Friends VS Friend-ly

I'll be there for you

When the rains starts to fall

I value a lot of things in my life. My friends are a top priority. I would like to think that I have some great ones and that I am a great one in return. Nobody's perfect. I love the laughter, the inside jokes and the way that a certain few always know what I'm thinking. My best friends know the real me. The real me that puts on a good front for the crowd and the real me that has real feelings. Feelings that get hurt easily.

Instead of wearing my heart on my sleeve, I wear my pride. I take pride in my friendships and I treat them like they're my family. I take care of the people I care about and I don't exactly expect it in return. I just expect, respect.

Over the past few months, I've noticed the actual number of friends I have has dwindled significantly.

Some out of distance.

Some out of conflict.

Some out of growing up.

Some out of being too consumed in relationships.

In this day in age, with the likes of Facebook and Twitter taking over our universe, it's impossible not to check up on people and still remain "friendly." Think about it, how many of your Facebook friends are ACTUALLY your friends. People that you talk to regularly and share your secrets with? Do we use the term "friend" too loosely? For my liking, yes.

I consider a Friend, a person who is like family. Someone who I can have deep conversations with about nonsense, someone who is supportive of decisions I make, someone to go shopping with, someone to share coffee with, someone to take an aimless walk with and someone who loves me for me. And someone who won't completely disregard my feelings.

Today, I can count on one hand the number of girl friends that I have. And I'm OK with that. My girls mean the world to me and they know that. I can fill up the rest of my fingers with the amount of people I am "friendly" with. But it's not the same.

To be a friend, you are a friend 'til the end. Not when it's just convenient for you. Not when your girlfriend or boyfriend is out of town, not when someone from your past comes knocking at your door and not when you've completely betrayed my trust.

Friends and I have grown apart and gone our separate ways, but they served their purpose whether it was for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

All for one and one for all.