Everything else is just life.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Wake Me Up When September Ends...

Summer has come and passed,
The innocent can never last
Wake Me Up When September Ends

The month of June in recent years has been a month from hell. This past September makes the last 10 years of June's child's play.

To begin our story of the worst September in history we start with the last few days in August when my Grandma passed away. The sadness spilled into September and the grievance period is all but over. She was awesome, but a power far greater than I thought she was more awesome and wanted her to itself.

I fought with everyone under the sun. My boss, my mother, my friends and I had a knock out drag out fight with my brother, something we haven't done since he became bigger than me. It was a rude awakening. I realized at that time that I had my mother's temper and her ability to lose all control of a situation due to rage. Damn Puerto Ricans.

My job ain't what it's all cracked up to be. I tend to make life decisions on a whim and with emotion and so far, it's gotten me nowhere. I'm told to be patient, my time will come. OK, fine. I'm cool with that. But I'll be damned if I am a publicist for a rubber manufacturing company.

I've mentioned before that I have a dysfunctional family, and granted, no family is perfect, but at some point this sh*t's got to stop...After a short dinner with my gf Maggie, I ventured to my boyfriend's house and waited for him to get off of work. My Mom calls my cell phone, I answer.

"Are you coming home?"
"No, I'm at JJ's, why?"
"Oh, well I don't know how to tell you this..."

Nothing good EVER comes out of a saying like that. She proceeded to tell me that my brother had been in a bad car accident the night before and my Dad had taken him to the emergency room. He flew out of the back windshield, landed in the street and refused to let the ambulance treat him. Long story short, the girl was driving drunk on wet roads, lost control, blew a tire, Sean was not wearing a seat belt and when the car hit the rock wall, he went flying. A few catscans and a weekend spent in the hospital later, he's home. In pain, but home. He's alive and that's all I care about.

My head has never spun so fast with everything that has happened this month. I have never felt so many emotions or ridden a roller coaster this long to come to the end with even more confusion. No smile, no sigh of relief, just another shrug of my shoulders to hop back on. It's not over. Not even close.

I've been told I'm a control freak. Shocking, right? That I just need to take everything in stride. A wise woman once said, just take it one day at a time. And that's what I need to do. Just take a virtual chill pill and stop trying to flip the world back onto it's axis. Maybe all of this bad stuff happened for a reason. To make me stop and look around. To spend more time with the people that matter most to me and to repair the damage done by years of no communication. Maybe there's a bigger message under all of the debris left behind.

I'm not done world.

You've just given me a swift kick in the ass.

Ring out the bells again
Like we did when Spring began
Wake Me Up When September Ends