Another Year in the Books

In stereotypical fashion, I will now reflect on the past year.  As I always say, 2010 was a doozy.  I learned a lot about myself, people and the world this year.  I became a news junkie, a social media enthusiast, a thrift shopper, a networker and a non-profit activist.  Most of what happened in 2010 was not planned.  At all. 

I've met some amazing people that will inspire me for the rest of my life.  I've realized that my gut feelings about things are almost always right.  I made up with my best friend after an 8 month hiatus (the emptiest 8 months of my life).  I fell in love with Broadway, again.  I also realized that I am way too much of a klutz and my body hates me. 

I've challenged myself in different ways and now it's time to start all over again. 

I would love to say I know what 2011 will bring me, but that's the best thing about the unknown.  I have no fucking clue.  So, hold on to your New Year Party Hats and stay tuned to this blog for all the updates.  I will be fashioning a new look in the new year, if you catch my drift. 

OH!  I also got engaged! 

Here are my New Year's Resolutions for 2011.  Most of 2010 still apply, however, some of these are necessary and some are shallow.  Either way, I'm doing it. 

1.  Read.  I have about 4 books on my shelf that have yet to be read. 
2.  No shopping.  Yes, really.  I will allow myself a new piece every season, and only buy necessities.  I have a full closet.  There should be no need for an outstanding credit card bill.
3. Blog more.  I've neglected you the past few months.  This year my posts will be more regular.
4. Have patience.  Each day it wears thinner and thinner. 
5. Save money.  On my list every year, however, now I really have to.  I have a wedding to plan!
6. Pay off all debt.  One of my greatest triumphs last year was finally paying off all of my CC debt.  It has now added up again, and I am back to square one. 
7. Practice yoga again.  It's just necessary.
8. Cook.  I always say I don't have time, but this year, I will make it a point to craft some things in the kitchen.
9. Take time for me.  There are just times when you need to be alone.
10. Give myself manicure's.  Another way to save money, and it's therapeutic. 

Birthday Blues

I was so on a roll.  I was so ready to be happy that it was my birthday this year, to not complain about the pressure amounted with the Christmas season.  I was ready to celebrate getting another year older with people that I love. 

Until today.  Christmas Eve.  The eve before I turn 27.  I was fine until, as usual, the season takes a turn for the worse.  This year and last, family wise, has been far from easy.  And I'll be damned if I can find a family that doesn't have drama around this time of year.  It just so happens that all of the drama seems to commence on my birthday.  Oh joy.  At Thanksgiving, the Holiday season looked promising.  And until about 24 hours ago, it still did. 

As I've said many a time before, I'm a brat on my birthday.  And this year, I was very ready to go with the flow.  To fly by the seat of my pants, and just enjoy the Holiday/Birthday and relax for once.  It's still possible if I just brush it off.  But some things are getting too serious to just forget about. 

That's the other thing...I've been brushing off things, people etc lately.  I've had this "No More Drama" schtict in my life for some time and in turn it has caused me to have a nonchalant attitude towards many situations.  I'm all about cleaning out unnecessary clutter and drama.  Cutting off the weak links and just enjoying life.  However, although it has made me more carefree, I've noticed a severe lack in communication going on between people who may need a helping hand still. 

As this all comes to light on the eve of my birthday, I will try to light the way like a Christmas star and hope that some people forgive me for my emotional absence. 

Because having everyone Happy around me, truly is the meaning of a great Birthday.

Dear Santa

Dear Christmas,

I actually don't hate you this year.  

Love sometimes, 

Allie

I actually don't hate Christmas this year.  Which is a first in a very, very long time.  For once, I am actually looking forward to spending the day with my family and friends.  I can't wait for people to open the gifts I got them and I could care less what I get this year.

I almost feel like a little kid again.  I couldn't wait to put up our Christmas tree.  I mapped out presents for my fam and friends before Thanksgiving and have them all in place...mostly.  I even treated myself to some new shoes at 50% off, Happy Birthday to me! 

I spent the day in the NYC on Sunday with my boy and some friends.  We took in a Knicks game and just wandered around, looking at all of the decorations, the windows and eventually making it to The Noodle Bar*.  We walked through FAO and Rockefeller and just had a great time.

As some of you may remember, Christmas day is my birthday.  I have long hated (nay loathed) the day that Santa slid down my chimney.  However, something changed in me this year.  Maybe it's my old age (I'm going to be 27, EEEK!).  Or, it could be realizing that I have an amazing family, friends and boyfriend and I have everything I need.  Well, minus that stellar career.  Fingers crossed for a lucrative 2011.

In the words of N'Sync "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays." 

*This little restaurant was found randomly by my boy and I last year during the Christmas season.  While driving to NYC, he expressed that he wanted noodles.  He didn't specify Italian, Thai, Chinese, Japanese he just wanted noodles.  As we exited the Lincoln Tunnel and into the greatest city ever, we drove around aimlessly until we randomly passed a hole in the wall called The Noodle Bar.  His wish was granted and I ate the best Shrimp Won Ton of my life.   

November Rain

Some of you may have noticed my absence from the Blogosphere during the month of November.  Some of you may have not.  And believe me when I tell you, it's not you...it's me.  I was entirely way too busy this month as I was away on vacation for 7 days, sick for some and just working like a dog. 

In the mean time, I've been thinking a lot about the future of this blog.  In a previous post I mentioned a possible name change.  I'm also thinking about content change, making it more fun and less personal.  Possibly adding in some Vlogging.  My friends, the possibilities are endless.  The one goal I do have is to make a commitment to whatever I choose.  In order to be a contender, I need to update regularly and not take a 30 day hiatus.

So, until I figure out what I'm going to do please take a gander at the other blogs I contribute to:

Bella Dawn Gossip
The Purse Lover
Beauty Stat

I will be back soon, I promise.

 

All Hallows Eve

Halloween is quickly turning into my favorite holiday.  It's a chance for us creative (and poor) types to go for the gold with costumes and marvel at what one can do with a piece of felt and some glue.  This year, my friends and I dressed as pro wrestlers.  Our childhoods all consisted of watching Monday Night Raw and practicing the sharp shooter on our unsuspecting friends and family.  We had our own Royal Rumble of sorts last night at the Boo Ball and it was absolutely amazing.  As we walked in (sans theme music) party goer's marveled at our costumes: Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, Ultimate Warrior, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Ric Flair, Bret Hart, Heartbreak Kid and Sgt. Slaughter.

It was EPIC!

  WRRV Boo Ball 2010

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

It's been awhile that we've spoken, and I just want to say that everything is going to be OK.  Lately, I've been losing control of what is really important to me and that's me.  I spend a lot of time worrying about others, and what others think and ultimately I need to worry about me.  Everyone around me is self-sufficient, I'm a big girl too and I can take life as it comes.  There's no need to second guess or to jump to conclusions, the truth is you're smart and capable of making decisions on your own, and even ironing your own shirt.  Stop acting helpless, like you need someone because you don't.  The act is getting old. 

As cliche as it sounds, you are destined for greatness.  It just may not happen in your 20's.  But with your ambition and drive for that greatness, Diary, we're goin' somewhere.  People will talk about what they think, but truthfully, only you can make your own decisions.  As Barney Stinson would say, "You're awesome."  So stay awesome, and don't let life grab you by the ass.  You grab life by the ass and tell him to get goin'. 

Truth is, we don't control a thing.  God laughs at our plans every day.  So pop in a xanax and enjoy the ride, because it sure is going to get bumpy.  Just don't fall down the stairs, it tends to hurt a lot.  Take your time and be sure that what you're doing is for the good...the good of you.  You don't need anyone to hold your hand.  So, Diary, I guess this whole time, all I've needed was me. 

It's been real. 

xoxo,

Me

Pity Party of 1

I have no idea what I’m doing lately. I’ve been having a pity party for myself in my head for some time now. My eyes have been off the prize and I believe that has been the cause for the disarray.

Last night as I was settling into bed I held my glass of water, took a sip and placed it on the coaster on my nightstand. I took the pillow from behind me and was going to place it under my broken toe, for whatever reason a gravitational force wanted the water on the floor and all over my phone and sheets. I literally almost started to cry. I didn’t see it coming. Like most decisions in my life, I thought I was making the right one by elevating my injured foot. Turns out that God had another plan. I took all of the towels I could find and began cleaning up the water, which seemed like a flood.

I act like I’m this “together” girl, and that I know what I want but I don’t. But I do, at the same time. I’m unraveling slowly.

I’m not sure when it happened, but my career became uno, number 1 on my list of things that I wanted. I want success, happiness and good health. Who doesn’t? I haven’t been able to find it. Will I ever find it? I’m not content answering phones and planning meetings, I want something more. Creative, fun, challenging and in my fields of interest.

“It IS a big deal!!!”

I always told myself that if I was in some form of the Entertainment and Media world that I would be happy. Turns out, that’s not the case. I can’t decide if it’s just bad luck, bad decisions or if it’s me? When I was 23, the world was my oyster. I had many opportunities thrown my way and now they’ve shriveled up to nothing. Sure the poor economy has played a nasty part too. I want my cake and to eat it too. I think I know what I want and then when I get some form of it, it’s not what I expected. Am I glamorizing life too much?

I’m sick and tired of casting myself aside because I’m scared. I’m scared to jump in, hurt people’s feelings and ultimately I’m scared of failure. I always wanted this job that I was proud of, that I was excited to go to and from every day and that challenged me in all of the right ways. I would just like to know that I am on that path.

I feel like my absentmindedness has to do with the uncertain future my career holds. I’ve never been more frustrated in my life with my career, I just feel like it’s going nowhere. I can’t change the past or the positions I’ve held, I can control where it takes me though. Hopefully my experiences have made me wiser and I continue to make the right ones from now on.

MarigoPR RT @OfficialKimora: Don't question the direction ur life has taken,
rather, accept the path that is before you now....☺

I would like to thank my fans...

When I was younger, I was always told I looked like Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years. I was told that I just had one of those faces. Suddenly, I found myself being compared to many young starlets with brown hair and brown eyes: Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Katie Holmes, Keira Knighly etc...

One that I actually believed that I actually looked like, and who I have been told numerous times, is Minka Kelly. She is best known for her work as a cheerleader on Friday Night Lights and being Derek Jeter's girlfriend. Minka became my nickname from a guy I dated too.

All narcissism aside, I think this ish is pretty cool. Hell, I had an ego boost today.

Minka & Me

My Mom called me up at work just to tell me the news: my celeb twin is Esquire magazine's 2010 Sexiest Woman of the Year. *pats self on the back*

You can read all about the Sexiest Woman Alive 2010 here.

Derek Jeter is a lucky man.

You're welcome.

New Season, New Style

I had a conversation with my boyfriend last week about my blog. I have been having quite the internal conflict as to what to do, ie. the next steps. My goal has always been to write what I want, when I want and how I want (sticks out the proverbial tongue).

I have been juggling two blogs, one I had the aspirations to make it "blogozine" like with actual article-type pieces and have contributors etc. And the other blog was this one--my little baby that I have been contributing my thoughts, quips and heart to for a few years now. Ultimately, with my other freelancing duties I am unable to contribute to both adequately. The Allie blog is updated more frequently because it's about my life and is a steady steam of consciousness.

OK, so back to the boyfriend convo: I was complaining as to how labor intensive it is to keep up with two separate blogs, especially when you want to identify yourself with it and have it thoroughly be yours. The marketer in me had branding on the brain. I had decided at that moment that I wanted two blogs, one personal and one professional. I wrestled with the idea all week and stumbled upon this blog post. I didn't consult with my other marketers or other blogger friends for the very reason that I wanted to figure this out on my own.

Ironically enough, as I was writing, my boyfriend sitting across from me, I had an epiphany. I wanted the best of both worlds, so why not make it...The Best of Both Worlds.

Boy: "Just make sure Van Halen doesn't sue you."
Me: "Or Miley Cyrus..."
Boy: "Van Halen had it first."

I can't separate my life, because it's me. I can't separate my passions because that's what defines me. I'm a journalist, a marketer, a lifestyle obsessed 20-something. That's me and I want the best of both worlds. I am very tired of trying to separate the two things that I love because one is personal and one is professional, my professional work is displayed on other sites as I freelance out the wazoo and I have no problem mixing the two. It may result in one of the best tasting cocktails ever. An Allie-tini if you will.

When I'm old and gray, I don't want to regret separating my passions and not contributing to life. I am going balls to the walls with this blog, because in the blog world...you can.

This blog will now be a "column" like experience, the way I always wanted it to be. Sitting in my stylish apartment with my two doggies at my feet, drinking that sweet lemonade I made out of the lemons I was handed. And writing what I want, when I want and how I want really is the best of both worlds.

Feeling all Fall Like

The new season, Fall, is among us and I think my body has taken that to a literal level. I've never been one for grace, probably because I stopped taking ballet when I was 6 years old, and I happen to be kind of oblivious to stairs, garbage pails and door frames. What I'm getting at is that I am a chronic klutz.

So much so that my roomate thinks that our apartment is trying to kill me. We first moved in back in June and it was going great. Sure I would smack my elbow or stub my feet on odds and ends here and there, but I just chalked it up to adjusting to the new place. Not to mention the two boys leave things on the floor and in the dark I always trip over them.

In August I literally fell down a flight of stairs outside our apartment. I was rushing out the door on my way to work and my Steve Madden heel got caught on my pant leg and down I went. It was a pretty bad fall and luckily I didn't break anything. I had a ginormous bruise on my right shin that looked like a blue, green and yellow shin guard and a bruise on my hip. I didn't feel the actual damage until weeks later. The stairs are treacherous and I had visions of myself falling down them but not to that degree. Let's just say I'm not looking forward to the winter.

Now, two weeks ago we had a monsoon in Beacon. It was originally a nice night and we had all of the windows to the apartment open. All of a sudden it started raining sideways (or cats and dogs) and buckets of water were coming through our windows. All three of us started frantically closing windows. I closed the bedroom windows while my Boy closed the living room. My roomate closed the kitchen, his bedroom and the bathroom windows.

I went back in to the bedroom to assess the damage, it was then that I noticed that the rain was now coming through the AC vent. My Boy suggested I get a garbage bag to stuff the hole. I ran back into the kitchen and unbeknownst to me, slipped on a huge puddle of water that had already formed from the rain that had come through the window and flew towards the pantry door frame.

My left foot hit head on and I broke my left 4th toe and bruised the ones and my foot around it. To the emergency room I went. The doctors and I established that I was a chronic klutz and I was given a boot and some bandages to wear for 6 weeks.

However, I am really trying to not let my broken toe hinder my social calendar and I have luckily been able to keep most of my appointments. Pumpkin and apple picking may prove to be a difficult task and Haunted Houses are out for me this season, but I have enjoyed not running from event to event in the sense that this has caused me to slow down and smell the roses.

So, if the whole falling down thing is God's way of telling me to slow the &%*! down, then I hear you loud and clear.

Sing a Song for Me

I don't know why, but I have been obsessed with Kid Rock's "Blue Jeans & A Rosary" from his Rock & Roll Jesus album, lately. I've actually always been a Kid fan, even back in his "Bawatitiba"phase. He did tell me his name right off the bat. I mean, it was a formal intro. True dat.

I also saw him perform at Woodstock '99 and he put on a killer show. He's gone soft in his old age--maybe it was his marriage to Pammy, or even that song with Sheryl Crow. I don't know, but I love this album. It's a few years old and he really tugs on emotion with the majority of his lyrics. "Sugar" excluded.

I will also forgive him for "All Summer Long," and always making me think I'm beginning to listen to "Werewolves of London."

Regardless, I love this song and the lyrics:

Kid Rock
"Blue Jeans & A Rosary"

All my life I've been searchin'
All my life I've been uncertain
I been abandoned and left alone
At fifteen I had to leave home
The black sheep, the bad seed

At a roadside bar in Tennessee
I met an angel to rescue me
She rescued me
She wore blue jeans and a rosary
Believed in God and believed in me
All her friends think she's a little crazy
She wears a smile, heart on her sleeve
Don't give a damn what the world thinks of me
She tells me it's all good
She's happy with a bad seed
Happy to be misunderstood

Two packs and a pint a day
To hide the shame
And wash away the pain
Aww the pain
Every road was a dead-end street
Runnin' from the law
And runnin' on empty
You couldn't shake the marks that were left on me

At a roadside bar in Tennessee
I met an angel to rescue me
She rescued me

She wore blue jeans and a rosary
Believed in God and believed in me
All her friends think she's a little crazy
She wears a smile, heart on her sleeve
Don't give a damn what the world thinks of me
She tells me it's all good
She's happy with a bad seed
Happy to be misunderstood

[Repeat]

Misunderstood
Misunderstood

Girls Just Wanna Have Drama

For the past year and a half I've been a guys gal. Constantly surrounded by people of the opposite sex and, for the most part, my life has been drama free. Many, not all, boys run from the first sign of drama including the boys in my circle.

As I get older, I find that drama is unnecessary and usually self-inflicted. The world has enough to worry about than your petty B.S. with so and so and why they don't want to be your friend. Odds are, you're in your mid-twenties and you should have enough maturity behind you to be social with people you don't want to be. Unless, that is, if you're a good friend and respectful of others decisions.

The number of girls in my life have dwindled and I keep the good few around for the long haul. The ones that are mature enough to actually ignore their cell phones when we're trying to have an in depth conversation and the kind that go emergency shoe shopping before an important event.

Sure boys are smelly, dirty, play video games, drink beer and are extremely hairy and burp in your face but they sure as hell leave the drama at the door. They could care less who I'm friends with and if I'm ever down, they just hand me a beer and tell me to get over it. Done and done.

That works for me.

Exact quote from my roomate after I mentioned a friend Facebook fiasco: "And you want to be around girls more, McKenna..."

I do love my girls. Not many boys would go shopping or get their nails done, but I have my Mom for that. But I'm finding that more and more girls just wanna have drama and less and less fun.

I Wanna Rock!

Last Thursday, I saw the Broadway musical "Rock of Ages." It was possibly the BEST show I've ever seen on the great white way, battling RENT for the first prize (there's no prize, but if there was it would be a close one). I am a big fan of the alternative musicals, the ones that are more modern, full of great songs and a kick-ass cast. I love being surprised by people and their talents and this was a show where I knew little about the plot and went in a Rock virgin.

My cherry was popped, so to speak, during the first number. I knew I was in for it when a chubby guy with a mullet walked out as our narrator. He was one of the best things about the show. I did, however, fall in love with Drew aka Wolfgang Von Colt. Who is in love with Cherie, a slut from the Midwest with big acting aspirations. I don't want to spoil the whole thing for you but I have never been so adamant about seeing a Broadway show again. I want to go every week.

I wanna rock!

Many of you don't know that I was originally a Drama major in college before I switched over to Journalism. The drama department was the main reason I wanted to go to SUNY New Paltz, they had a McKenna Theater (hello!). I would have loved a career in musical theater but I can't carry a tune to save my life. Regardless, I still have a high appreciation for any and all arts.

Luckily, my boyfriend is awesome and he had meet & greet passes. To my delight, my friend Jessica and I were in the front row for questions for the talented cast. She also met her future husband. Enjoy the photos below. Oh, and go see the show.

Me and Wolfgang. He smelled delicious and is much hotter in person.


Me, Michael (Jess's future hubby) and Jess.

Oh Cherie...I'm in love!

The Best Thing

I want to be Taylor Swift's best friend-there, I said it. I am in love with her new song and I can't wait for her new album in October. Enjoy her new single, "Mine."

Rose Cottage Couture

Leave it to me to drive all through the back country roads of Orange County, N.Y. on a rainy Sunday afternoon for fashion. Oh, but it wasn't just fashion--it was a trunk show for designer Harrison Morgan.

The Women's Leadership Fund (WLF), a branch of Orange County United Way, sponsored the event to help raise money to promote independence, growth and self-determination for women and girls.

Luckily I didn't get lost and I had a vague idea of where I was going. I was greeted by Kat and Susan of the WLF at the gate of the former Laura Ashley Estate (yes, THAT Laura Ashley). I parked on the designated grassy area which was not conducive to my outfit or heels, but I digress.

The interior of the Rose Cottage was beautifully accessorized with discounted designer clothing, a win win for us all. Many other eager shoppers already had their hands full with Harrison Morgan's (and other designer friends) threads. Good thing I arrived early.

I perused the racks with the notion of buying a simple shrug or possibly some jewelry, I did give myself a $40 spending limit. I knew I was in over my head when my arms were full of dresses, sweaters, shirts, shrugs and coats. They had coats! With an armful of clothing Kat brought me over to meet Harrison. He was a doll and we was wearing my favorite color: lavender.

Harrison who was born in Miami and raised in Atlanta, at a very young age was deeply interested in the arts. He eventually chose fashion design as a career, and to our benefit expanded into New York City, one of the fashion mecca’s of the world. While in NYC, Harrison developed his own unique style and began offering evening separates and hand-beaded gowns; allowing women to express their individuality and modern confidence. He has the ability to create a piece that, in turn, creates that finishing touch needed to complete an ensemble. His designs are the cherry topping on an ice cream sundae.

Harrison Morgan and I

Harrison’s designs have been seen on celebs like Catherine Zera Jones, Nicole Kidman, Cindy Crawford and many socialites. He has also gone international selling his designs in the U.S., Europe, Japan and Canada. His collections include day to evening, wedding, fur and jewelry. It’s the perfect finishing touch.

My finishing touch? $180 in damages. But it was extremely worth it.

Passion for Fashion

It was exactly three years ago when my passion for fashion was ignited. I blame New York Fashion Week. I was in the first week at my first real big girl job and I took a crash course in Fashion Week 101. I had always been an admirer of fashion, I did shop a lot, but never big labels I think my biggest purchase was a Coach wristlet at that point.

Not so these days. Now, I'm a label whore. If you're walking down a NYC block, I can probably tell just by looking at you "who you're wearing." It's both a gift and a curse. Now, I can't bring myself to buy a pair of jeans from Macys, unless its Joes, Citizens, 7, Paige, True Religion...and I can't buy a handbag from Target, it has to be a statement...and it has to have a nice label.

It wouldn't be so bad if I actually had the money to spend. The clothes last longer and are made with the highest quality. But I digress...

My bestie/sissy invited me to Fashion for Passion Launch Event at Good Units near Columbus Circle in NYC. It was underground, or so it seemed and they were serving yummy margaritas. Photos were placed all around the venue, black and white and gorgeous. There were also nakey painted models (this I had an issue with b/c they were highly unattractive). The speakers were blasting 80's dance music and we were in just good Fashion-lover company.

All photos stolen from Meg:

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.


Beautiful photos. Beautiful models.


Me and Meg, we both have a passion for fashion...and margaritas.

In the near future you will be seeing more posts on fashion...after all it is my passion.

Coming Along

Hi, I'm Allie and I'm a control freak.

Hiiiiii Allie!

There are many things I am, a control freak is one of them. I am also impatient, sensitive and ambitious. Most of these traits are for my own good.

During the weekend, I literally admitted aloud that I am a control freak...multiple times. One of them, I was able to finally just let go. For instance, friends and I went to a water park in upstate N.Y. Let me just be the first to say how much I hate rides that spin, regardless of velocity and physics if it spins I want nothing to do with it. I just hate feeling absolutely out of control and spinning has a tendency to make me have an anxiety attack.

Henceforth, friends and I were in line for the big family tube ride when I noticed that the water park attendant was spinning the tube to push it down the slide...to my chagrin, my friends were comforting me that I would be fine and I would get to the bottom safely. Luckily, a new water park attendant came on duty to relieve the Toxic Spinner before our group was up. Phew!

"Um, excuse me, could you do me a favor," I asked as I eerily stepped into the tube. "Could you not spin the tube that much? I have a thing..."

Me at Coney Island holding friends bags, since I "don't do rides."

Surprisingly, she didn't look at me like I had 5 heads, nor did she laugh in my face for my childish request. She obliged. Granted, it did take our family tube a tad to pick up speed but I ended the ride spin free and exhilarated that I conquered a slight fear (considering I had no control over the tube once it hit the slippery slope).

When I stepped out of the tube, I felt like a million bucks and I said aloud: "That wasn't bad at all!" I really made a big deal out of nothing. For those of you who know me, you will know that I don't do this often (ha!).

The moral of the story is this: face your fear.

Stare down the barrel of the gun, jump off the high dive, pee into the wind!

And maybe go down a family tube slide at a water park, and not ask the attendant to spin you around. It does feel good to relinquish control sometimes, panic attack excluded.

I'm Awesome

This really needs no explanation. If only this could really be my resume. Barney, you are a genius. Oh...and read my blog.

K, thanks!

You Gotta Get With My Friends

Many people have forgotten about the other British invasion that occurred a la 1997...the Spice Girls landed on American radio with the infectious sugary pop tune "Wannabe."

Besides the message of "Girl Power" to their core female audience, they also had a message for the men. You gotta get with my friends. Before you jump to sexual conclusions (mind out of the gutter please!) hear me out.

Ever have that friend who's boyfriend sucks balls? Yes, we all have. And as much as we try to tell her he's no good, she's still with him. I'm a firm believer that people are treated in ways that are indicative of what is said about the other person. Don't follow me? Basically whatever you tell your friends about your significant other is a catalyst for how they will treat him/her. If your friends BF treats her like dog poo, you won't treat him like he just cured fucking cancer.

For example: one of my best friends had a boyfriend who was absolutely nuts. He caused a lot of unnecessary drama and even jumped out of a moving car to prove his point. Needless to say, it was very hard for me to be nice to him after what he put my bestie through, let alone have any respect for him. As much as I tried to grin and bear it for the sake of my friendship, my true colors were written all over my face.

Another example is Heidi and Spencer--this needs no explanation.

This past weekend I was explaining this concept of mine to my girls who have been through a lot emotionally the past few months. One of them said outwardly: "So, the Spice Girls were right?"

Yes. Yes, they were.

Although you may not be suggesting a threesome, you might be a little more careful as to how you treat your man or lady. The way you are treated speaks volumes in Spice World.

Saratoga Girls

Well lovies, I am off to Saratoga for a weekend with my favorite girls and I can't help but sing this little song by Katy Perry. I am very excited to bet on the ponies and dance until my feet bleed. I will also be meeting up with some friends I haven't seen in awhile.

Here's to a great (money winning) weekend!

Take Me Back to the Beginning

At the beginning of every relationship, it’s full of buttery goodness: Romance, Sex, Undying Devotion, Great Conversations, New Information and Sex (again). You can’t keep your paws off of each other. It makes you feel sexy, wanted, loved and cared for. Your life becomes consumed by this other being and you suffocate yourselves with each other’s presence-abstaining from everything else in life.

Eventually, everything unravels. You learn too much about the other person, or see them do something extremely disgusting and everything about your relationship becomes one major turn off. There are very few people, I know that can make it through these relationship slumps: the two weeks without sex, the constant nitpicking at the other to pick up their socks and the always in your face “what did you make for dinner tonight?”

My track record with relationships isn’t all that great. I also don’t have the best frame of reference and the odds are against me (1 in 2 marriages fail). I wish I could tell you that everything is always peachy-keen and coming up roses, but the fact is that all relationships take work. Equal work by both parties. I would like to think that my Boy and I are successful at this. Although, our relationship is far from easy.

We were watching Date Night the other week and it hit me that that many couples have the tendency to turn into that couple--that couple who becomes excellent roommates and not significant others. Maybe it’s all in my head, and maybe I’m panicking about nothing in particular. I just know that things have changed since the beginning. If I could I would have an affair with the beginning, because it was just that good. And it’s not just my relationship, its most relationships. While they all don’t turn into Bad Romances, they do lose some romance. Chivalry is not dead. I’m not your mother, wine and dine me. Please, thank you.

**********

There are little things that should NEVER be neglected in a relationship:

Kisses--My high school boyfriend, before he did anything else when he walked through a door was kiss me. It was his thing and I loved it. My ex refused (hence why he’s an ex). It’s the little thing that reminded me that I was the first thing on his mind when he walked through the door. It still gives me butterflies.

Saying “I love you”—This is especially true before I fall asleep at night. I like it to be the last thing spoken. I used to be even more of a stickler about saying it on the phone after every conversation. I’ve eased up in my old age. But never take for granted a truly sincere, “I love you.”

Touching—Remember back in your courtship with your current or past mates, when you would playfully touch their arm? Or brush their hand, or rub the inside of their thigh…yeah, they still like that. And WE still like that. It still sends shivers down the spine, especially if you get to the spot.

Foreplay—“Kissing is like an opening act. Like the comedian before…Pink Floyd comes out…it’s not that you don’t like the comedian, it’s just not why you bought the ticket.” Foreplay gets neglected, especially when you’re short on time. What’s the point of feeling up when you have a free pass right into the end zone (not THAT end zone)? Always add in foreplay, it makes the experience that much more fun.

Flowers—Cheesy but it works. Flowers just because you were being thought about. Flowers just because.

Texts—A friend of mine’s boyfriend would send her a text every morning saying how beautiful she was. And everyday she would have a smile spread across her face. Simple, easy and it never hurts to tell someone they’re beautiful.

Cleaning—When you’re not asked, clean up after yourself. It makes a world of difference that you also have respect for a communal living space.

Holding Hands—It’s the cutest fucking thing in the world to see older people holding hands. It’s the simplest gesture to let you know that your significant other is holding on to you. I love holding hands.

Time—Make time for each other. My boy and I started “Date Night” during the week where it’s just the two of us. We excluded the weekends because our schedules are so hectic, but if we can do it then we will.

Sex—Don’t stop. Just don’t. Spice it up with lingerie, a hotel room, a new sex toy or book. Just don’t stop.

What are some of your suggestions to keeping a relationship going?

Everyday

I once watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy where one of the Doctors had an aversion to people touching her. Appropriately, that is. I can’t remember what exactly happened, but the Doctor had something detrimental happen to her and Christina (I could be wrong here) proclaimed that an actual human touch, like a hug, really calms a person down when they are in hysterics. Basically it’s scientific fact, or just good television, that a physical hug makes a world of difference.

I’m a hugger. I always have been. Although, I’ve noticed lately that I’ve put up a wall. As I become more and more aware of myself and the situations around me, I trust less and less. It’s a sad state of affairs. I also feel like, because I don’t put myself out there I don’t get heard (bad grammar alert!). And instead of getting heard, I get hurt. By the people I love the most.

My BFF says that I don’t like to ruffle feathers, which is true. I don’t like to cause conflict, I spent months stewing over a fight I had with a best friend. And I couldn’t even go two days without talking to another one.

This past New Year’s I made a silent resolution to myself to stand up and speak up more. To not let people push me around, to state what I want and not settle for anything less. If I come across as a bitch, oh well. I want nothing but the best for everyone, and I am finally putting myself first.

Two people have told me this week to be selfish while I can. Selfish is not a word I like. It describes too many members of my family. However, I will be selfish in the right ways—time, money and ambition. I’ve never been there for myself. I do what everyone else does to me, “you’re fine, you don’t need any help.”

As S, so eloquently put this week: “You come across very self sufficient.”

But ultimately, I’m dismissed because of this. It’s the worst feeling in the world.

*raises hand*

Everyone needs help sometimes. It takes a real person to admit that. And sometimes, you just need a really good hug.

Wake Up Call

My boy has been saying that he would like a new alarm clock that would benefit both of our morning routines. I wake up earlier than him usually at 7 a.m. and he usually awakens when I leave at 7:45 a.m.

However, he sometimes forgets to reset the alarm after I shut it off. Therefore he's been on the hunt for a dual alarm clock. And like most men, he finds the most high tech, expensive one on the market. Apparently the alarm clock has blue tooth...like I want to talk to people that early in the morning. Regardless, it charges an iPod, has a remote and a phone or something. Sigh.

Boy: I found a new alarm clock.
Me: Oh yeah? Did you get it at Walmart?
Boy: No, it has bluetooth and it does all of this other stuff.
Me: (pausing) How much?
Boy: $100
Me: That's way too expensive for an alarm clock.
Boy: (shows me the picture with all of the gadgets)
Me: *blank stare*

I'm not quite sure yet if it can tell time.

To be continued.

Overprotected

There are many reasons why I love Brit, her inspiring lyrics are not one of them. But alas, she is still awesome and I absolutely love this song. I've been singing this to myself for about a week so here it is for your viewing pleasure.

You go girl.

Eat Pray Love

I'm in the midst of reading Elizabeth Gilbert's: Eat Pray Love. And, as a writer I am fully engulfed by her brutally honest portrayl of life's unexpected kicks in the teeth. For lack of better words, depression is a bitch. I've felt all too many of the emotions she beautifully and painfully writes and I know all too well where she is coming from. The great thing is that she had the courage (and the moola from her publisher) to walk away and re-discover who she is/was/wants to be.

While I'm reading I feel like I'm sitting with a friend in a cafe, sipping on herbal tea and she's rehashing every gory detail to me, like it happened yesterday. She engages the reader in no way I've ever read before. I feel like I'm in Italy with her, in India and lying on the bathroom floor.

I am so excited to see the movie. But first, I must get through India.

Little Black Back Track

Sample telephone convo:

Person 1 (answers phone): Hello?
Person 2: Hey!
Person 1: Who is this?
Person 2: Your past.
*click*

Have you ever noticed that, more often than we would like to admit, we go crawling back to the past? Past relationships in particular. They didn't work out for one reason or another but we still want to give it that good ol' college try again.

Old habits die hard.

It could be out of pure habit or it could be that we're all masochists. Or maybe it's the fascination with "what if?" One thing is for sure it's the past because it's passed. Done. Fini.

I made a wise decision a little less than a year ago to not speak to my ex. Ever. Again. I've gotten texts, emails and calls and have ignored them all. In his last email he even asked if I still used the email address. I do. He just doesn't know if I do or do not anymore. It's beyond satisfying that I have stuck to my guns and moved on with my life. For some though, it's not so easy. And believe me, it was.

I just said, "no."

I've had many friends go back to that one ex that they just couldn't escape. There are people like that out in the world, they're hypnotizing and detrimental to our mental health. They'll know the perfect opportunity to text you...just to see "what's up?" Maybe take a stroll down Memory Lane, but really it's just a dead end. Like the relationship was in the first place.

I'm a firm believer in that people don't change, they just get more the same. They may convince you that they've changed and maybe even try out a new persona for a bit, but it will all eventually revert back to what it was.

The question is...do you want to live like that?

Has anyone ever gotten back together with an Ex and actually have it work out?

Invisible

Lately, I've been feeling invisible. Did you ever have that dream where you're in a crowd and you're screaming and no one hears you? Yeah, that's me.

This is one of my absolute faves from Ashlee. Enjoy.

Fearless

As a little girl, I was terrified of Vampires. I used to sleep with a blanket over my neck every night for protection. Little did I know that the blanket would do absolutely nothing in warding off the fang toothed blood sucking dead dudes.

There was one point in my life that I felt invincible. Not in a jump-out-of-a-plane-without-a-parachute kind of way, but that I had absolutely nothing to lose. I knew exactly what I wanted and I knew how to get it. I called the shots and I was blazing a trail behind me. Then-in a snap, I was scared sh**less.

It was like I was ready to jump off the high dive and all of a sudden forgot how to swim. The dead dudes sucked the lust for life out of me and I haven't quite been able to get it back. The "it" in question is also a question. I may have been green, I also may have been naive and my fearlessness was pure stupidity. One day I calculated all of my odds and decided I was better off sitting on the bench on the sideline of life...and my career.

I really wish I could tell you that the date was December 1, 2008, but I can't. I have no idea when it happened. I became extremely intimidated by my own life that I let it walk all over me. I never saw it coming, I just went on-business as usual.

The confidence that had once radiated off of me, the sparkle that I possessed was gone. Tucked away in the vampire's veins allowing him to live forever as a dead dude...with a pop in his step. I used to own everything I did. I was the first in line for the next thing and I was taking no prisoners.

I lost the confidence in myself to produce what I used to be good at. I second guess myself buying a gallon of milk and I sure as hell don't have a pop in my step. In some way, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. My confidence doesn't even have confidence in itself.

My fearless attitude is now a timid little girl. Afraid of the big big world.

How do I get my(self) confidence back?

Vampires...I'm looking at you.

Super Cuddly J.J. Bear

One of my favorite things about living with my boy are the last few exchanges we have before we both doze off to sleep. More often than not, it always leaves me with a smile on my face or a look of bewilderment.

Last night, was no exception.

Me: (snuggling) "I love that you're so cuddly."
Boy: (pausing) "Is it because I'm furry?"

He IS 3/4 Wookie.

In an MMMBop they're gone

Anyone who knows me knows about my favorite band: Hanson. I was that 13 year old girl screaming for Taylor at the concerts CONVINCED that he looked me in the eyes. I had lipstick marks all over their posters, I even had a life-size poster on my ceiling above my bed. My high school boyfriends had to compete with that. It was love at first Bop.

Now, 13 years later (literally half of my life) I'm still a fan. A little less obsessive (notice I said "a little) and I have the utmost respect for their talents. Which, contrary to popular belief, did not end with MMMBop. It was the song that started it all. The questions as to what the heck it meant (MMMBop= a frame of time. BTW.) and finding an ever deeper meaning that, at the time the 16, 13 and 11 year old's proved they were way beyond their years.

The song is really about holding on to the ones that really care, because in an MMMBop they're gone.

You can have so many relationships in this life, only one or two will last. You go through all this pain and strife and in the end they're gone so fast. I've learned a lot about friendships in the latter part of my life. There are the chosen few who will be there through thick and thin and I'm lucky to have found those people so early on. I could be too quick to jump the gun, but I don't know what I would do without these chicks in my life (I mean my friends, not Hanson). We laugh until it hurts, cry til it feels better and shop until we drop.

So, on an evening of what should have been my attendance at a local Hanson show at the Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, N.J. I decided to opt out to write this post about my amazing girls.*


*That wasn't the whole reason, lack of funds also played a big part.

So hold on the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
And when you get old and start losing your hair
Tell me who will still care
Can you tell me who will still care?

In an MMMBop...you're still here.

Always Choose Paris

Now, let me set the record straight. I used to watch Laguna Beach and The Hills religiously since, well, it was entertaining. However, I stopped when Heidi and Spencer became too much to watch and I don't think I watched any episodes of the last few seasons. However (again), I was sucked back in a few weeks ago watching The Bitch (Kristen) for a good 4 hours. Thank you MTV and your marathons.

What I would like to comment on is this: I absolutely adore Lauren. From the get go I thought she had a good head on her shoulders, a great eye for style and I admired her for sticking to her guns. Not many young gals can come back from making the WORST decision of her life-ie. staying with Jason and not going to Paris. I can't even tell you how many cuss words were thrown at the television.

Although, I couldn't understand what her motive was back then, I definitely understand now. Sometimes (and that's the beauty with life) you have to not choose Paris to let life happen the way it's supposed to. Am I not making any sense? Let me explain:

I was in a similar situation as LC-bad ass boyfriend, treated me poorly, controlling and all that jazz. I had many an opportunity to exit stage left (nothing as enticing as Paris) and I stayed put-motionless in the spotlight. I had the proof that the grass was greener and that there were boys that would treat me better, but it had to go from bad to really bad to "please pick me up from the floor" bad. I passed over some really great guys and some really great opportunities so I didn't disrupt the sleeping giant. I eventually learned my lesson, and so did Lauren.

Fortunately, Lauren and I were able to pick ourselves up and begin anew. She was obviously more successful than I was, with her own TV show and all, but we never let anything stop us again. She has been able to create a nice little nest egg for herself and is an extremely savvy business person. I have bought many items from her clothing line from Kohls, and one of these days I'm sure I'll get around to reading one of her books. I think she's genuine, sweet and smart and she's living proof that nice girls can finish first.

As for me?

The rest is still unwritten.

Under the Table and Dreaming

Last night I saw Dave Matthews for the second time at Bethel Woods, the original Woodstock site. There is one thing for certain, this man knows how to put on an AMAZING live show. This particular time I saw him was different than the first, and by far better. It wasn't the sound or his set list, it was the company.

My BFF is a HUGE Dave fan and her excitement rubbed off on me. It was a great experience to be next to her, so happy, dancing and singing along.

Plus, they played this song:

I have very fond memories of this song. It was the first ever song I heard from Dave Matthews and it reminds me of High School-an old boyfriend used to tease me about my horrible air drumming skills and I used to sing and dance to it with friends during my Junior year.

I told myself that if Dave played either: "Ants Marching," "Grace is Gone," or "Dancing Nancies" I would go home happy. And I did, with a big smile on my face. There are many Dave fans around the world and with good reason. He's raw talent that hasn't been gobbled up by the music industry. He will be around for a long time and I can't wait to see him again.

Summertime Blues

Contrary to the title of this blog, I don't have the blues. I do want the blues, however. Blue jeans. I have a BIG obsession with denim. Mostly designer. I want all jeans all the time. Problem is, I want to be a certain size.

Ever since I turned 26, I've felt that I haven't been able to lose weight as quickly as I put it on. I've always wanted to have this rockin' Victoria's Secret bod, I just haven't had the commitment to do it. It's really hard for me to diet since I absolutely LOVE food. I also love working out.

This summer, I have really been trying to get my ass into gear (so to speak) and really hit my goals. I feel like actually posting a blog about this will really help me stay focused and get there.

Thinking about the physical also has me thinking about goals that I have for myself in general. Including (in no particular order):

1. Financial stability
2. Active ambition
3. Career satisfaction
4. Emotional control
5. To be completely and retardedly happy

I'm very close.

No need for the blues. Just the jeans. *wink*

Money, that's What I Want

Every time I look at my bank account I want to cry. No matter what I do to try to save money, I can't seem to keep my head above water.

I recently took a large pay cut with my current place of employment. I convinced myself that money isn't everything and that I can make it on my own, it will just take some sacrifice. Even before I became gainfully employed again, I made sacrifices. I never buy a cup of coffee at an over priced coffee shop, I never buy my lunch (brown bag, yo) and if I'm driving on the other side of town I make all the stops necessary so that I don't go out of my way for errands or items needed.

I will treat myself to the occasional ice cream or a beer at the bar, but I never go nuts. The last time I had a drink at a bar was probably over a month ago.

So, what am I doing wrong?

I keep track of all of my expenses (thank you online banking) and I haven't bought myself clothing, shoes or accessories in...wow, I can't even remember. My bank account always seems to be depleted. No matter what I do, I can't catch up. I could be a hermit for 2 months and not see a difference.

Twitter friends of mine have suggested to always use cash (@jonlustig) and to stick to a grocery list (@alliemac01), which I am guilty of not abiding by.

How do you do it? How do you save money but still...live? Am I not making enough sacrifices? Should I move back in with my Mom to save money?


Thoughts???

Happy 4th Weekend!

I had to...

Patience is (not) a Virtue

I had a long talk with my boy a few weeks ago about my lack of patience. I am exactly like my Father, I have absolutely zero patience and absolutely no tolerance for stupidity. That being said, I get very antsy when things don't happen as quickly as I would like.

Maybe it has something to do with being born and bread in New York?

I would really love to stop and smell the roses. I would also really love to be complacent enough with everything in my life so I can just enjoy it. For once, I am almost there. I am so close, I can taste it!

My boy said that I have to be patient with life, with my career and with my family. In regards to my career, I have not been one to take a back seat. I have made a few decisions (good and bad) and I am paying for them.

Your day will come.

I am always looking for the next opportunity to come my way; ambition is running through my blood. I should be patient and grateful for what I have.

Bethenny: "Failure is not an option. It's just not."

I was watching Bethenny: Getting Married last week and I immediately understood what she was going through (minus the pregnancy and planning a wedding part). She took on too much too soon and was afraid to drop the balls in the air. In my opinion, the skin care line could have waited and so could the wedding (pending personal preference). But, then the show would have been non-existent. In the end, she's dealing with it all and is trying to have patience with her wedding planner-who seriously looks like Buster Bleuth.

Me? I am in nowhere in her position. Although, I can sympathize. If all of the opportunities were thrown at me, I would have a hard time saying "no." Which brings me to my next question: Should I have patience and wait for something better to come along? Or be active in my ambition and continue to look, despite the chagrin from others?

I have never been one to wait. Which, gets me into trouble. Bethenny didn't wait to get married, she did it right away. I have never been one to sit around and wait for things to happen to me. I don't have enough patience to wait to do what I want to do. But...am I setting myself up for failure?

Failure is clearly, not an option.

We'll Be Right Back

My Dad once told me that he knew I was watching too much television when I left the room and said I would be right back...after these messages.

I've been a busy bee, therefore a lack of posting.

I have a lot of great things coming your way-so stay tuned!

10 Truths I Wish I'd Known Sooner

I don't normally read Real Simple magazine. But, after reading this article I think I should.

Eloquently written with the most simplest forms of advice, this article is the perfect reminder that we are all human.

Great advice.

10 Truths I wish I'd Known Sooner, from Real Simple.

Thinking 'Bout Somethin'

Dear Hanson,

It's been 13 years. Half of my life. Kudos boys, you know how to keep bringing me back.

With Love,

Allie

P.S. I haven't been thinking 'bout somethin' other than you.

20-something Something

I've heard that living through your twenties is one of the most ridiculous roller coaster rides there is. Life is full of ups and downs, twists and turns and we're not quite sure what's coming up 'round the bend or can really see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I've made mistakes...BIG ones. I've lived and learned. I've loved. I've lost. And most importantly, I came undone. In the past 3 years, I've held more jobs than you can imagine. I've switched career gears more times than I can count and frankly, I still don't really know what I want to be when I grow up.

I do know that I want to be: Something.

“[Success is] doing what you love and having a positive impact on people’s lives without starving to death.”—Gloria Steinem, feminist

I want to make myself great. I want to actually realize what I have before it's gone. I want to take advantage of every opportunity that's out there, and start pleasing myself before I please others (mind out of the gutter, pervs).

I've passed up too many opportunities and let others pass me by because I was too uncomfortable, or comfortable for that matter. I was in line at New York Fashion Week with Heidi Klum walking by with her entourage, only now to find myself behind a desk. I was talking to Ashlee Simpson on the phone and hugging FloRida in the same day. If only I had known then what I know now. I would trade anything to be back in that position. I was passionate about what I did. It was what I wanted to do.

“…You don’t have to pattern your career after anyone else’s. Set your life up by your own rules.”—Tina Fey, writer/actress

Back then, I didn't realize I could be Something. I didn't realize how quickly it could fade, and I couldn't wrap my head around the Big Picture. I was too eager to please others. I was scared of losing. I was uncomfortable with all of the Hoopla surrounding my position and decided to live the simple life-without Paris and Nicole.

I pleased someone else. Not myself.

I have four years left of my twenties. Ironically when I turned 20, I set goals for myself. There's a list about a mile long. I may have hit a little hiccup, but I'm trying to get myself back on track.

I will be Something. Something great. Something that I am proud to be.

“If you’re not scared shitless by your new job, you haven’t reached high enough.”—Leslee Dart, publicist

*All quotes courtesy of Elle.com "25 Year's of Elle's Best Quotes"